I’ve fucked it up, I over reacted. And apparently my apologies aren’t big enough? I can’t stop. Its a feeling inside that just makes me freak out… maybe its because it was the one thing that I thought would never go away. I pushed you so far away from me that its probably never going to be okay. And I don’t know how to deal with that. Knowing that its all my fault and that I fucked this up is way too much to carry on my shoulders right now… I should have relaxed. I should have done less to annoy you. I should have let things go that I didn’t. If things go okay with this, then its going to be different. I’m going to be better. I’m going to be relaxed. Ill let the shit go, because I care too much about all of the good things that we have in our relationship. But if everything falls to pieces and blows away with the wind, I don’t know how I’m going to survive. Ill just blow away with the rest of the pieces. I can’t cope right now, and I don’t know what’s going to happen while the rest of this lonely dark night unfolds. I know you won’t talk to me, and I know thats what you want. So ill try to restect it, and remember that someday…. not too long ago…. you were telling me that you loved me.